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Strategic Parenting Style



It is important to experiment with a variety of parenting styles to improve your own style and expose your child to a variety of ways of being managed and developed. As the goal is developing your child for adulthood and independence; they will face different management styles in relationships and work. It is good preparation to expose them to different styles and discuss what works and what does not work. Trial and error is a good approach to finding the most effective styles.

The “Strategic Parenting Style” (SPS) evolved from Jeff M Brown as an author of the book “Strategies for Parenting - The Road To Independence” in which Jeff's family created this unique parenting style. This was done without being aware of conventional thinking on the types of styles; authoritarian, authoritative, permissive or uninvolved.



  1. Authoritarian Parenting
    The “strategic parenting style” (SPS) evolved from the book “Strategies for Parenting - The Road To Independence” in which a family created this unique parenting style. This was done without being aware of conventional thinking on the types of styles; authoritarian, authoritative, permissive or uninvolved.
    In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, "Because I said so." These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children. According to Diana Baumrind, these parents "are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (1991).

  2. Authoritative Parenting
    Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. Baumrind suggests that these parents "monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative.” (1991)

  3. Permissive Parenting
    Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. According to Baumrind, permissive parents "are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation" (1991). Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.

  4. Uninvolved Parenting
    An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

  5. Strategic Parenting Style™ (by StrategiesForParenting.com)
    We developed this style without a recognizable Phd but a PHD (Parenting Honors Diploma) learned from 20 years of parenting and 30 years of being parented - and years of observing other parents. We are authoritarian to an extent in demanding in our expectations and the way we respect each other and operate as a family. We are very involved but realize there are times when we need to step back and allow our children to develop as independent individuals. We may seem uninvolved at times as we allow our children to make mistakes and learn skills on their own.
    We were authoritative parents as we were clear in what the rules were but often created them in a democratic manor.
    We were permissive at times in that our children understood the ground rules, what no meant and we did seldom needed to discipline. We operated as friends and had equal respect for parent and child.
    Our strategic parenting style was a logical mix of the benefits of more common styles and evolved as our children became more mature. All good managers can adapt to the situation and use a mix of styles to get the best results. There are times that “no means no” and as your kids get older they need to understand the reasoning behind the “no” to accept it and support the thinking.
    The thinking and demonstration of this style is detailed in our book, "Strategies for Parenting - The Road to Independence".